I know I mostly write a lot about more optimistic things, but sometimes, when the mood strikes, I like to talk about the issues of women. After all, I am a woman myself and I’ve experienced many of the issues myself so why not?
I was reading this post from Look Sharp, Connie where she discusses her own experiences with high fashion and it’s seeming constraints and contradictions that it holds for women. That we can’t wear certain patterns, colors, or cuts if we aren’t a certain shape. I just think the entire notion is ridiculous.
Why do we constantly punish ourselves for the way we look?
Furthermore, what the hell is wrong with the way we look?
I just don’t understand it. Maybe that’s not the best way to put it because I DO understand. It’s actually considered quite normal in this day and there’s something wrong with that.
There’s something wrong when we think it’s okay to tell our friends not to wear certain outfits or pieces because “we don’t have the body to pull it off” as if we are somehow undeserving or unworthy of a piece of cloth or a specific fashion brand.
There’s something wrong when fashion scouts and agents are walking around guiltlessly and blamelessly telling 95 pound 15 year old girls that if only they lost 15 more pounds, then they would be worth the fashion industry’s time.
There’s something wrong when it’s deemed socially acceptable for mothers to tell their daughters they’re fat or not to eat something because it will make them fat, thereby permanently damaging their child’s confidence and lifetime relationship with food.
There’s something wrong when losing weight or fitting into a certain size is more important to us than being intelligent, happy, generous, and kind.
There’s something wrong when people feel it’s okay to say hurtful things like ” You’d be so pretty if you were skinny.” Or “You have such a pretty face…what a waste.”
There’s something wrong when society thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to discriminate and shame bigger people so far into submission, fear and self-hate that they feel worthless and hopeless and are too scared to even leave their home out of fear that someone will see them and judge. And it’s terribly sad because they’re not wrong.
There’s something wrong when young kids who are at a perfectly normal weight feel the need to lose more out of feelings of inadequacy or because some hateful person called them fat.
There’s something wrong when bigger women avoid wearing tank tops and swimsuits and shorts, even in thousand degree heat, for fear of public ridicule and backlash.
There’s something wrong when I avoided my entire group of friends for a few years while I lost some weight because I was that ashamed of myself.
There’s something really wrong when society and the world have us all so convinced that we can’t be worthy of success, happiness, love, and life until we achieve a certain size, measurement, or number on a scale.
It’s not right and you don’t have to accept it if you don’t want to. You are free at any time to defy those shitty unrealistic expectations that the world has tried to chain you with and invent your own which you may deem more worthy of you and your precious time.
So, when I say love yourself and do it RIGHT NOW – I absolutely mean it with the greatest urgency, myself included.
It’s never too late to stop hating yourself for something as stupid as your weight, your size, or anything remotely related to appearance.
I know I post about health and fitness and fashion and beauty and tons of other superficial things and it’s all in good fun, but I would never body shame someone. It’s so wrong on so many levels and people don’t realize just how damaging it is to someone’s self esteem, self worth, and happiness when they say hateful things, ridicule someone in public, or say things like “Are you really going to eat those chips?”
In a world where it’s perfectly okay for people to tell their 8 and 10 year old children to lose weight, put them on near-starvation diets (so the parents can meet society’s status quo), and call their own kids fat, chubby, etc. – Something has got to change.
Can we all just stop hating ourselves and forcing others into our boat via the fat and body shame channel just so we’re not alone in the so-called “good fight”?
If you want to lose weight, fine. If you want to be healthy, great. But don’t do it to meet some unattainable standard. Do it for your health and your own happiness. Work toward your goals for you – not anyone else. If you are healthy and bigger and happy that way, then don’t worry about it. Be confident in who you are and behind any and every snide word, know that they’re envious of the confidence you hold and are simply wondering how you do it.
And lastly, Don’t EVER let anyone make you feel like you’re not worthy and deserving of anything and everything you want in life because I promise that you are. Life’s too short to live life with sad, hopeless blinders on. It’s a beautiful day out, but you may never see all that it holds if you cannot even see how worthwhile you truly are. It has absolutely nothing to do with what’s on the outside and everything to do with what’s on the inside.