In an effort to share more of my personal thoughts here on the blog, I’m making a deliberate point to do posts every now and again which share my personal likes, dislikes, and experiences. I’m trying to include some anecdotal type posts so you guys can get to know me and realize that, yes, I am a real person. I don’t say that because I think you think that I’m not. I say that because I realized that reading a lot of blogs nowadays – a lot of them are just a lot of no personality, no love, no person behind the blog. It can tend to just feel like a constant stream of product reviews and style picks which I love, don’t get me wrong, but I also want to feel connected to bloggers so that’s what this is my attempt at haha.
Today’s post is focusing on positive thinking.
Happy thoughts are not something that everyone comes by with ease. As humans, we are, by design, programmed to think first of the bad, the negative, the “wrong,” but there is such an incredible thing that happens when we decide that things are okay. That things are not that bad. That they will get better. Or maybe, that they’re good. By thinking happy, positive thoughts, we can actually make things better in reality.
When I was about 16-17, I thought I was fat. I thought I was fat, ugly, and covered in acne. I felt like an awkward, introverted misfit most days despite having a good group of friends. I actually look back now and realize that things were actually not that bad back then, In fact, they were pretty great – I just couldn’t see it.
To put things even more into perspective, I had my own baggage to deal with and I’m a unique sort of person that tends to stand out even when I’d like to blend in. My parents divorced when I was quite young so I had a lot of anger to deal with on that end and I enjoyed dressing in my own way, speaking in my own way, and just generally doing things how I wanted to do them. Call it my “flower child upbringing,” but this is how I was and still am.
I wore clothes that weren’t in fashion, but that I liked. I wore my mom’s old 80’s vest, striped flared skirts, and flossed my jeans so they were skinny jeans. If you don’t know what flossing jeans means, it’s a means of sewing jeans in to be skinny jeans (they were originally boot leg, I think – it was really hard to find skinny jeans back then) with actual literal floss. The floss holds up a lot better than thread especially if, like me, you suck at sewing. Aside from my dress code, I also enjoyed trying to merge cool slang words and phrases that I discovered in books with my everyday vernacular. I was obsessed with the Uglies series and was determined to make sayings like “That’s not pretty making” a trend. Couple that with my anti-authority streak and I guess I stand out to people. I actually had a girl come up to me once, asking, ” What are you?”
She meant, What am I? as in am I a goth, punk, prep, or whatever? I didn’t really fit in to any particular stereotype.
Anyhow, the point in telling you all this is that, despite being different in my own way, as we all are, I still had friends and I was a beautiful girl ( still am 😉 ). I just truly didn’t know it. I was so busy picking myself apart and tearing myself down that I never saw my true self and the beauty of that until much later. Like maybe a few years ago.
The takeaway from this, I hope, is that you should love yourself right now. Don’t wait until your 20, 30, 40 or on your deathbed. Do it. Right now..
And on top of that, things are never really as bad as you might think. At first, you might think things are horrible if something bad happens, but take a moment to stop and reevaluate. To tell yourself, it’s not that bad. It’s never as bad as you think. To tell yourself that things will get better.
3 Ways to Be More Positive:
- When something bad happens, try to think of it as a blessing in disguise. I had a friend in this acting class I took who once told me her mom would tell her the same thing any time she didn’t get a part for something she auditioned for and it always kind of stuck with me. What she said was “Don’t worry if you don’t get the part; that’s just God’s way of telling you you’re going to get something even better.”
- Realize that things will get better. Whenever things would happen to me that I perceived as bad, I would always freak out and blow everything out of proportion. This led to a lot of unnecessary stress because I would work myself up to the point of tears (or to tears) and then think that it would never get better. After awhile, this kind of stress can really affect your health. It definitely affected mine and it’s not worth it. Not only that, but no matter how bad you think things are getting or whatever happens, they will always get better. Something’s gotta give.
- Cheer yourself up! Whenever I’m sad or upset, I always try to cheer myself up and my favorite ways to bring up my mood are by trying a new recipe, watching a favorite film or TV show, and if I really need to laugh I’ll watch stand up comedy. That always gets me in great mood. Otherwise, I like to watch inspiring films where the characters have to overcome crazy obstacles. It always makes me feel better about my own life.
I hope this helps you to figure out how to be more positive and happy in your own life and live more in the present with gratitude and love.