I realize there were some really awful films that, as a kid, I really loved. Now that I’m older, I can recognize how horrid some of these really were, but that doesn’t stop me loving them haha. Some things are just meant to be bad and I think you can still appreciate them in spite of their awfulness…though maybe not all of them. Who am I kidding? There are some on this list that I still freaking love and you should too! So THERE. Read on to see what horrible films I loved as a kid!
Horrible Films I Loved As A Kid + What They Taught Me About Life
Passport to Paris
What It Taught Me About Life: It would be cool to have a grandfather who lived in France and..stuff..
I’m not proud of this one, but there it is. If you somehow missed the whole Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen craze of the 90’s and early 2000’s, then you’re lucky, but if you’re like me and got in on that madness, you probably saw this awful film. In it, MK&A go to Paris where apparently their grandfather is freaking dignitary or politician or something in Paris, you know, because that kind of shit totally happens. Basically, every fashion blogger today’s wet dream. Anyway, they go to visit him thinking they’re going to have a romantic adventure and end up being blasted with itineraries of boring things to do (for young girls, anyway). They spend half the film ditching their chaperons, shopping with a supermodel, and mingling with weird French boys who we all ended up having crushes on (just keepin it real). This movie has cringe-worthy bad acting in it, the situations are super unrealistic, and it’s full of stupid one-liners from MK&A that are meant to be witty, but are just horrible. When I was like 9, though, my sister and I knew the entire script to this film which we would recite, often er, as we watched the film. I know it’s horrible, but I was a kid. That’s my excuse haha.
Zenon : Girl of the 21st Century
What It Taught Me About Life: The future is all neon all the time. Looking cute and accessorizing is important.
It’s kind of hilarious how somewhat accurate this film was of the future. Aside from that, the awesome neon fashion, and the ultra-catchy Supernova Girl song, it’s really horrible. Really dumb catch phrases, more unrealistic plot lines, horrible acting, and other stupid crap makes this film bad. I have to say, though, that it’s nice to see Raven Simone back in the day – I always thought she was way cooler then Zenon. Zenon is played by this actress who is now on General Hospital because…she’s a horrible actor lol. All joking aside, you should watch this film because ZOOM ZOOM ZOOM! You’ll get it when you watch it. It’s so bad, but I can’t stop!
What It Taught Me About Life: Be yourself. Being weird is awesome.
This is another really horrible film from my days of adolescence. It’s all about a girl who is into weird things and finds out she’s really a witch. Her grandma ends up being from a place called Halloweentown. I don’t want to give too much away, but it’s a Disney film so you can trust that it’s heavy on the cheese. The best part of this film is the skeleton taxi driver and Debbie Reynolds! Not gonna lie, I occasionally watch this for nostalgia’s sake. It’s so bad it’s good haha.
Tower of Terror
What It Taught Me About Life: Vintage clothing, luggage, and old music. All awesome. Also, those magazines with aliens are fake.
Did you know that the ride at Disneyland California Adventure was somewhat inspired by this Disney film and the Twilight Zone? Kirsten Dunst is in it, oddly enough, and her character’s uncle plays this guy who takes photographs for hoax/conspiracy theory stuff for magazines. In the film, they visit this old hotel that’s said to be haunted thinking they will be able to take some good hoax photos for his job, but they find out it’s actually haunted by real ghosts. I actually kind of enjoyed this film and still do. It’s pretty cheesy and totally a family film, but I thought it was fun and the costumes were cool!
The Tenth Kingdom
What It Taught Me About Life: Don’t be afraid to be seen. You matter. Don’t be afraid to love with all your heart. Fairy tales are cool. Don’t leave the main road in the forest. Frogs who tell riddles are dicks.
This is a film I saw when I was like 11. It was originally a mini series on NBC, but my mom had purchased it for me because she knew how much I love fairy tales. It’s pretty long at 7 hours total, but totally worth it. I still love this film, but I know that going into it, I thought it was going to be really stupid. The effects are pretty cheesy, lots of corny practical effects, but the writing is awesome, in my opinion, and the story is really good. It weaves the story of Virginia, a single waitress who lives with her dad and gets stuck in a magical land where fairy tales are real history. If you like fairy tales, with a twist, then you will like this just trust me! Try to ignore the cheesiness of it, enjoy Wolf’s hilarious ranting (Scott Cohen is amazing in this!), indulge the corny story at the beginning, and I promise the payoff is really good! There’s actually a lot of really good actors in this film and the way they weave fairy tales into the story is really fun. I can’t recommend this enough, but I included it in this list because I know a lot of people will think it’s stupid going in, but by the end will love it. Just TRUST and go watch it on Hulu ASAP!
What It Taught Me About Life: Don’t let other people bully you. You can help other people be better by not putting up with their B.S. I must have a Secret Garden in my future home…
I love this movie SO much! It stars Maggie Smith who is basically awesome in everything. This is an old British film based on the book of the same name. It focuses on a girl who was previously living in India with her parents, but has to move in with her cousin back in England after her parents die in an earthquake(I think?). She’s really sort of a stubborn child, her cousin is crippled and a total brat, and it’s all about how they form a friendship together and discover this secret garden. It’s really beautifully shot and I love the music as well. I also love that main character, Mary, is such a BAMF. She pretty much takes crap from no one haha. She taught me not to be a pushover when I was like, you know, six or something. She also has some pretty priceless quotes from this film.
And last, but not least is…
Never Been Kissed
What It Taught Me About Life: You are not who you were in high school. Stand up for yourself and against bullying. Don’t let your past define you. Don’t let your past dictate your future. Always see the good in people.
Who didn’t love this film?! I mean really. Who didn’t have that total moment of relation with Josie when she said she wasn’t Josie Grossie anymore? Probably none of the popular bitches reading this, but being how I was frequently called the “Bookworm,” “Bitch” “Smart Girl” or my personal favorite – “Walking Dictionary” (because of my extensive vocabulary), I could totally relate. I was bullied pretty badly in school so I felt for her when she was so traumatized by high school and still living a nerdy life into adulthood. If you’re young now, maybe it’s cool to be nerdy now, but it wasn’t always so. Also, this movie is hilarious and has a lot of comedic actors in it who play kind of serious characters which is weird. Also, I love that she’s a good role model. She’s smart, kind, optimistic (despite everything that she’s gone through), and she has heart. And I love that she unintentionally gets high off pot brownies and eats a whole pie.
^ She had the right idea; I definitely should have done that LOL.
And All together now! 😛
F you and your perfect teeth, Zenon.
What are some movies that you love that other people hate?
Or, what are some films you love that are generally regarded as being bad?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments!
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